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The Kafka Container

The Container Process – An African Kafka Tale from the 21st Century

Picture: Kafka Container1 256x300 The Kafka ContainerAttempting to bring a container into Kenya can give you several heart attacks, and is by no means a recommendable exercise for any sound-minded person who cares about his mental well-being. Had Franz Kafka been alive today, he would doubtlessly have agreed that Kenyan bureaucracy by far eclipses his nightmarish descriptions of their counterparts in the pre-WW1 Austro-Hungarian empire. This is a step-by-step guide to experiencing a true Kafka process in the 21st century:

Step 1: Make a small mistake when importing a container

As one of the few countries in the world, Kenya requires pre-shipment SGS inspection for anyone importing anything. The inspection means little more than an inspector looking into the container to confirm that it contains what you say it contains, and then sends you a fat invoice for that. Nobody really announces this requirement, so you are just supposed to know. Failure to do so will result in a hefty penalty charge from the Kenya Bureau of Standards (KEBS).

Step 2: Start chasing a waiver

Picture: Teleposta Towers 221x300 The Kafka Container

Teleposta Towers, Nairobi

When I joined Kyoto Energy, the container was already stuck in Mombasa, as we were looking for a way around the penalty charge.  Cabinet ministers can generally waive taxes, charges, penalties, etc., issued by agencies and authorities under their ministry.  KEBS is under the Ministry of Industrialization, under Hon. Henry K. Kosgey, EGH, MP. Although the minister is the one signing the official waiver letter, such decisions are rarely made at the political level in a ministry, unless you are a close personal friend of the minister, or otherwise have given him good reasons to act in your favour. Although I have met Henry Kosgey several times, that was long ago, and going through people I know who know politicians to get favours is always a non-solution, to be avoided at all costs possible. Such favours are not free, and will sooner or later have to be re-paid, one way or another. So we started the long and burdensome process of doing it “by the book”, through the top-level bureaucracy instead. My first meeting for Kyoto Energy, on my first day at work, was therefore at Teleposta Towers, with the then Permanent Secretary of Industrialization, John Lonyangapuo.

He was very sympathetic with what we were doing, and even expressed a clear interest in getting involved in some projects with us in his home area, in Pokot. Regarding the waiver, he first gave us the impression that that would be a piece of cake: All we needed to do was to give him a written request. 2 weeks went by with no feedback, when suddenly, it was all over the news that Lonyangapuo had been moved to another ministry as part of a reshuffle.

Step 3: When you think you’re almost there, go back to square 1

The new PS, Kibichio Karanja turned out to be a very friendly guy. Coming straight from the academic world, he was still a bit overwhelmed, and probably also somewhat confused by his new tasks. He wrote down almost every word I said, and kept emphasizing that he was sympathetic, that he would look very carefully into this, and that he make sure to provide the best service possible.

Step 4: Start gathering documentation

Some time went by, and whenever I called the new PS, he was unable to give a definite answer. He clearly remembered the case well, but obviously, there was some part of the procedure that was stagnating somewhere, without him knowing exactly why.

Showing up at his office in person, and getting directed to the right people and procedures therefore seemed to be the best option. When I did, the PS was out, but almost by coincidence, I bumped into some senior bureaucrats who were familiar with my case. Like in a role-playing computer game, out of nowhere came those crucial missing leads showing the way forward in my quest. The information I got, also explained why the process had halted.  All I needed was some documents. A pretty simple task, actually. Unfortunately, that information had never reached me for inexplicable reasons, and I had been pretty lucky to come across the right people. Making photocopies of some company documents, and of the LPO from the major government agency that had ordered half of the contents of the container. Piece of cake. Then a quick trip to the clearing and forwarding agent for some copies of the shipping documents. Easy-peasy! That was about it, right? Now, a letter of IDF exemption from the Ministry of Finance? hmmm..

Step 5: Run back and forth between goverment offices

Picture: Treasury Building 300x151 The Kafka Container

Treasury Building, Nairobi

What was an IDF exemption, and how would I get it? I was sent to a new office at the Ministry of Industrialization, and the lady there explained to me that it was a crucial requirement to get the waiver. I would have to go to the Ministry of Finance for that one. She couldn’t tell me where, though!

To avoid queuing at the reception desk, I entered the Ministry of Finance my standard way: With a big smile to the watchman, a tap on the shoulder like he was an old friend, and the usual “sasa, habari yako bwana?”.  That procedure bypasses even the most rigid and time-consuming identification and registration requirments at any government building. On my way to the elevator, I suddenly remembered that I had no clue where I was going, so to avoid the queue at the reception desk, I returned to the watchman and explained my quest. “Mr. Wanyambura, 11th floor, office 19″ he answered.

Little did I know as I was heading to that office, that Wanyambura was one of the top civil servants and one of the most powerful people in the Treasury. Needless to say, he was not in. His receptionist, who had obviously not been hired on grounds of manners, looks or professional attitude, literally barked at me when I explained to her what my mission was.  They would not issue any such letter unless requested in written by the Ministry of Industrialization to write it, she yapped. In her eyes, I was obviously the ultimate idiot who didn’t understand that intuitively. Back to Teleposta Towers, then.

The Ministry of Idustrialization countered that they could not issue any written request for the Ministry of Finance to issue a letter of IDF exemption. This one, I would have to sort it out with Finance. Back to Harambee Avenue. The lady in the front office was obviously wondering why I was wasting her time and my own: “Didn’t I tell you that yap, yap, yap..”.  I, on my side was determined not no let some high-headed gatekeeper take any more of my far more precious time, and demanded to speak with a real decision-maker. I finally found myself presenting the issue to a far better informed, and far more polite, senior bureaucrat, who suggested that I cut the gordian knot by writing the letter requesting the IDF exemption myself, with a reference to the list of requirements from the Ministry of Industrialization.

A friend of mine who works for the Kenya Revenue Authority suggested that I simply pay the IDF, as it would not be a big sum in the first place. Armed with 2 options, I once again returned to Industrialization. The message was clear: A letter of IDF exemption was required, so the idea of paying the IDF was unheard of anyway. I needed the letter. Period. There was no way the could write a letter to the Ministry of Finance, nor could they endorse one written by me. The fact that their counterpart in Treasury Building required a letter from them to issue a letter that they required, was irrelevant.

Giving up is never an option, and pissing off people who stand in my way has always been the least of my worries. So I went back to Treasury Building, this time with a letter written and signed by me, accompanied with copies of the relevant documents.

The lady in the front office almost exploded with her hostile yapping. I interrupted her, saying I wanted to discuss this with someone who actually made decisions, so she sent me across the corridor to the same gentleman I had spoken with previously.  He looked at the documents, picked up the phone, and, voilà, it turned out Mr.  Wanyambura was in after all. I was introduced to a very soft-spoken, humble and friendly gentleman, who was sincerely eager to help.  After listening to the story, and browsing through the documents, he shook his head over the meanderings that his and other bureaucrats had sent me through.  ”The IDF is nothing. Probably just KSh 5000 or something like that” he said. “This is a commercial transaction, so we can’t waive the IDF. I’ll give you that in written so you can present it to the Ministry of Industrialization with a receipt for the IDF payment”.

I couldn’t believe my own ears. All this running back and forth for something worth KSh 5000, just because somebody in Industrialization had insisted on reading the requirements to the letter.  Standing outside the Treasury Building with that letter affirming the exact opposite of what I had first been told, I thought I was finally seeing the light in the end of the tunnel.

Step 6: Write a cover letter

At the clearing agent’s office, another suprise awaited me. “IDF? That one was paid upfront. Let me find the receipt for you..”. So I had been chasing a waiver letter for something that had already been paid. Would’ve nice if someone could have told me! I felt relieved as I entered the Teleposta Tower again, hoping that this would be the second last time at least for a long while. The people who work on the 11th floor there, had all gotten familiar with my face, so there was a lot of people to greet as I walked down the corridor again. The lady that I had kept most of the dialogue going with smiled, put the documents back in the envelope, and said she would update me the next day. I really didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry from the feedback I got 2 days later: “Please come back and pick up the documents again. You must include a cover letter”. About an hour later, I once again entered Teleposta Towers with a signed cover letter in an envelope, adding it to the booklet of documents that the lady handed back to me, and returning it to her with a smile.

Step 7: Make daily follow-up calls for some weeks

All that remained now, was for the Minister to put his signature on a letter, and the KEBS penalty charge would be a thing of the past. Now, as Kenya was gearing up to the big referendum on the new constitution, all politicians and senior civil servants were being  mobilised by the government to campaign for the “Yes” team, putting most day-to-day government operations in hold. Needless to say, during my 3 weeks of daily follow-up calls, the answer was always the same: The person in charge of writing the letter wasn’t in, or hadn’t had the time ot look at it.

As I was giving up any hope of anything happening before the referendum, I suddenly received a call in the morning of Friday, July 30th. Someone needed to meet me, urgently. A relatively junior bureaucrat who had just recently started working for the Ministry was obvioulsy the one in charge of authoring the letter. After some quick questions, he assured me that the letter would be ready immediately over the weekend, just 2 days before the referendum. I had problems actually believing that, so imagine my surprise when I the same person called me again on August 2nd, to tell me the letter was ready.

As I left Teleposta Towers for the last time, ecstatic, with the letter in my hand and my boss on the phone, we both believed that our kafkaesque nightmare was finally over, and that we would soon have the container. Clearing at the port would certainly be a breeze, compared to what we had just gone through.

Step 8: What you thought was the top of the mountain, was only the first hill

Picture: Waiver from Kosgey small The Kafka Container

The waiver letter, signed by the Minister for Industrialization, Henry Kosgey

That the Mombasa Port has a bad reputation is an understatement at same level as the Pope being slightly religious.

People had warned us that letting a container overstay was far worse than paying any unfair penalty charge. Too late, as we had already gotten the waiver. We were well aware that the charges for storage and demmurage had risen to astronomical levels. Fortunately, the shipping lines are used to writing off containers that have overstayed, meaning that they are ready to negociate those charges down to far more reasonable levels in order to get anything at all.  Alexandria Freighters, until that point in time our clearing and forwarding agents, had turned out so useless that we had to look for someone else to take over. We needed someone with the experience, the skills and the clout to sort out a situation like ours.

The brother of a friend of mine had worked with clearing and forwarding in Mombasa for 17 years, and had heavyweight experience with this kind of situations. So we hired his company, Consol Forwarders to handle the job for us.

The container had already been listed for auctioning – the standard procedure for Customs when containers stay more than 60 days. He quickly got it off that list, and threw himself into negociations with Kenya Ports Authority and the shipping line  to get waivers on the ridiculously high charges that had accrued for the time the container was stuck. Being experienced and well-connected, he had a somewhat straight-forward ride in getting the mentioned instances to agree. Remaining was only Customs and CFS.

Step 9: Customs in Kenya are tediously slow

All solar equipment in Kenya is zero rated. That means no VAT and no import tax.

The Customs Service Depatment seem to consider it their duty to ensure few or none are actually awarded this exemption – a task they handle exceptionally well!

Their now-computerized ERP systems are supposed to make things easier and more efficient. At least, that might have been the intention when they bought it.

Simply entering the correct category code for solar cookers still returns an astronomical demand for import taxes. The fact that you need an exemption code, to be entered at a different part of the system is a well-kept secret that even experienced clearing and forwarding agents are unaware of. Simply getting, it and entering it in the right place, is a time-requiring challenge, apparently considered a hostile act by Customs, so count on receiving absolutely no assistance from their side!

Once entered into the system, this requires a series of “approvals” from various offices, where you will inevitably get harassed, often with mind-blowingly irrelevant questions and “requirements” that may well be pure inventions by officials chasing a bribe. Fortunately, we were now in the key area of expertise of our clearing & forwarding agent, who navigated past those hurdles, although at the inevitably slow pace that everything takes when government institutions are involved.

Step 10: Banks are rigid

After sorting out the port charges and and the demmurage, that cost was down at a pretty manageable level, and we wired the money. Time pressure was starting to build up, and we seriously needed to rush things.

Bank wires from Norway usually take 3 working days, yet after 6 days, our agent’s contact in Equity Bank still insisted there was nothing in the account and nothing on the way. Our bank in Norway confirmed that Equity had received the money 2 days earlier, and sent us a copy of the SWIFT message.  Armed with that, we returned to Equity bank, demanding to know why the lady had mislead us.

It turned out they had had the money all the time, but refused to credit our agent’s account as there was a problem that needed to be rectified. Obviously, they had not seen any need to notify us about that, though.

The lady that had mislead us initially, was kind enough to refuse to give us the direct contacts of anyone working with international transfers at Equity Bank HQ. It didn’t take me more than a quick phone call to find the right person, though.

Obviously, the bank was not flexible enough to credit our agent’s account, even in the face of overwhelming evidence from our side of what the intention of the transfer was. For them, sitting on the money for as long as it suited them seemed to be the preferred option.

In the afternoon of Thursday, September 17th, someone finally managed to give us the instructions of what to do. The bank in Norway instantly sent a change message through the SWIFT system. Equity saw nothing on their side, though.

The next morning, they still had nothing, and only some time in the afternoon did they inform us that they usually don’t receive such messages until the day after. In this case, it had delayed even further though. In the late afternoon, someone found it convenient to inform me that it was possible for our Norwegian bank to send a 999 message through SWIFT, which they would receive instantly. That was too late, though, as banks in Norway had closed for the weekend.

Picture: Equity HQ 300x200 The Kafka Container

Equity Bank HQ on Upper Hill, Nairobi

Saturday 19th, at 8:00, I called the SWIFT department in Equity. Still nothing.

- I’m coming over, I said.

- There’s no point. There’s nothing we can do, said the person in the other end. 20 minutes later, I was there.

We sat there and argued for almost 3 hours, while I kept pushing the junior bank official up against the wall. He kept changing his position on the subject continuously, but always to get to the same conclusion: Nothing could be done unless the official message was received through SWIFT, regardless of any documentation. He also insisted that none of his managers were in, and that could not call any superiors as it was a Saturday.

Towards the end, he seemed to soften: “If only I could see the original invoice…”

I had my laptop with me, and was connected, so before he could finish the sentence, the original invoice was in his inbox. He excused himself.

When he returned, he once again reneged. Nothing could be done.

- So if your SWIFT messages go through Citibank in New York, and they have not sent it for 2 days, why don’t you call them? I wanted to know.

- I’m not authorized to do that

- Maybe you are not, but who is gonna stop me?!

I googled Citibank New York, looked through the results and took my phone, ready to dial.

- One moment, sir.. Excuse me, sir. I’ll be right back.

This time he returned, accompanied with a senior manager. Obviously, his claim that no superior decision makers were present, had been nothing but a feeble attempt to avoid looking powerless.

The manager turned out to be a friendly, and far more flexible person. After a quick look through the documents, he approved it, and minutes later, the money was in our agent’s account.

Step 11: The “last minute” is a very long one

All that remained now, was to agree with the CFS (the guys physically storing the container), and then get the gate pass. CFS are always the last instance to agree with, as they want their money until the very last day.

The initial charges were around $10 000, as the container had stayed for months. Our agent, well-experienced with such situations with many of the CFSes in Mombasa, was expecting to get at least a 90% waiver. He was in for a surprise : the first encounter between him and the financial director resulted in a flat “no”.

Back to the drawing table, compiling a presentation of the green and social profile of our products, as well as the project that half of the contents in the container were going to. That got us a 50% waiver, and the CFS guys seemed unwilling to go beyond that, so we told our agent to keep pushing nevertheless.

The money we had wired was based on the 90% figure, normal for many of the CFSes. Suddenly, we needed an additional KSH 460 000, as this CFS was playing hard ball.

Step 12: Fly to Mombasa

Picture: Mombasa tusks The Kafka Container

Mombasa

To ensure the container would get delivered on time, I realised I had to go to Mombasa myself and push it through. On a 0-minute notice, I packed my suitcase and called a taxi.

My boss wired the required amount of money to my bank account in Norway, and armed with a debit VISA for that one, I was presumably sorted out. I brought some additional credit cards,though,  just to be on the safe side.

Nairobi rush hours are no joke. My hope of making it for Fly540′s 7PM flight vanished the moment we joined Mbagathi Way. Remaining alternatives would be the 8PM flight with Jetlink or KQ at 10.30PM.

As I arrived JKIA, they had just closed the check-in for Jetlink’s 8PM flight. Luckily, a passenger hadn’t shown up, so I could just pull the cash out of my pocket and walk straight on to the flight.

Step 13: Some banks can be pretty useless

NIC Bank, where the CFS company had their main account, could not charge credit cards. That definitely adds to their credibility as a bank!  In other words, there was no way we could get a bankers cheque, or wire money to the CFS company’s account there. NIC’s slogan is “It’s Time to Move”.  That’s right: To another bank!

Barclays at least could take credit cards, but since I was not a customer, they would only give me KSh 100 000, and Kenyan banks won’t let you open an account unless you have an introduction letter, etc, etc.

It took me 1 hour to withdraw KSh 100 000 over the counter using a VISA card at Barclays. Same experience at KCB. This was moving way too slow, and time that we didn’t have was running fast.

Our agent was calling the CFS.  With KSH 240 000, we already had more than half the amount needed, but now we were running into the issue of daily limits too.

The financial manager was clearly a no-bullshit guy, but a very friendly one. No credit cards, no way. And he needed the money on the account. No security other than money paid.

I was pushing him for solutions, as the only one available seemed to be to get someone with a local bank account to transfer the remaining KSh 219 000 as a short-term loan. Wiring the money from Norway would take at least 3 days, and then it would be too late, unless…

- If I have a copy of a SWIFT message, would that do?

- If it’s from the bank, yes!

- So if I can get them to e-mail me the confirmation, will you accept it?

Before the “yes” was out of his mouth, my laptop was open, and the modem plugged in.  Of course I had brought the login security gadget with me, so 2 minutes later, I was logged into my bank while on the phone with their international transfers dept. in Norway.

Within the next 3 minutes, I was done on the phone, and had confirmed the transfer online. 20 minutes later, a copy of the SWIFT message was in my inbox, and the CFS part of the container saga was cleared almost instantly.

Step 14: When you least expect it, Customs strike back

Now, all we needed was a last document from Customs. Our agent had been promised it would be ready, so all he needed was to pick it up at the Customs office at the Port. Then we could just go and pick up the gate pass. Yeah right!

Unfortunately, someone had forgotten to send the letter from the Port to the main office in Kilindini, so it was not ready after all. It was already past 4PM. Step on it! Faster! Faster! To Kilindini!

At Kilindini, the Deputy Commissioner, who was supposed to sign the letter was in a meeting. 30 minutes went by before the other person came out of the office. We didn’t even wait to be shown in.

The Deputy Commissioner was a friendly, but straight-forward person. After hearing about the situation, she was adamant that this could not be sorted out until the next morning.

To me, that was not an option. Getting the container out the next day would move us too dangerously close to the deadline. What were the emergency procedures in such situations, I demanded to know.

She insisted things would have to go by the procedures, and I insisted I needed the letter the same day. I made sure to emphasize that we had made our preparations well ahead, and that someone in the Customs Dept was to blame for the letter having been left in a drawer for more than a week.

Nothing I said or did could mislead anyone to believe that I would leave that office before getting the letter. Eventually she picked up the phone, told a colleague to come pick up the file for a verification procedure, and from there insisted that she didn’t like doing such things, as she normally worked exclusively on a first-comes-first-served basis.

We were once again in the front office, waiting for the case to be processed. Nervous about whether the person supposed to do the verification procedure would actually do it the same day, we managed to extract information about his office location from the secretary, and went there to push him.

That worked, and only few minutes later, everything was ready.

At the Deputy Commissioner’s office, a surprise awaited us, though: Customs see zero-rating as an act of generousity, no matter how much the client is entitled to it. Zero-rating of a consignment the size of our container therefore required approval from the level above, and that person had gone for the day. Ouch!

Step 15: With Customs, even approvals from the highest levels are subject to re-confirmation

The next morning, I showed up at the office of one of the top officers in the region.

The front office was over-crowded with people waiting to see him. When he showed up, he picked 6 people, seemingly at random to join him in his office.

He was an extremely jovial, talkative and witty person, going far to entertain his audience. When a quite shy-looking, young person accidentally popped his head through the door, he was instantly waved in, and to the amusement of everyone in the room, thouroughly interrogated about his sexual endeavours during his current trip to Mombasa, and about the commercial nature of those presumed activities.

Jokes about women, ethnicity, drugs and corruption multiplied during the almost 3 hours that we were sitting in the office. Meanwhile, cases were being handled one by one inbetween the jokes and the laughs.

I might probably have enjoyed the light atmosphere far better, had it not been for the fact that I was in a crazy rush against time, with the hourglass was rapidly running out on me. As the success of the mission depended on the guy in front of me, I realised that the current situation couldn’t be rushed, so it was better to face it, and find his wavelength, laughing at the hailstorm of jokes, and throwing in a few ones myself.

When eventually he got to my case, he simply put his signature at 3 places, and that was it. After all the waiting, it was all over so fast. Now we could go and get the gatepass… right?

As I had paid the CFS charges the day before, the container was supposed to be extracted that same day. Now that we had sorted out everything with them the day before, they were in a positive mood, and getting that charge waived took us nothing more than a quick visit at the office.

Apparently, we still needed a sighting of the container by Customs, so we needed to pass by their local office at the CFS.  We got a sighting officer assigned, and we ran, litterally sprinted, the 300 meters down to the container. The customs guy didn’t seem to care much about that, though, as he took everything at his own pace.

He only found some small formality to argue about, but our agent was able to counter that one easily. The customs guys seemed frustrated he couldn’t find anything more to harass us about, so he just signed the documents, went back to the office, and entered it into the system.

Now, it turned out before getting the gate pass, some information needed to be entered into the system from “Number 5″ down at the port. It was now 3PM, and the customs office at the CFS was closing at 5. After a too slow car ride, accompanied by me shouting “step on it, step on it, step on it”, we arrived there. 3 minutes later, we rushed back in the car. The waiver letter I had gotten in the morning needed to be matched in the system, and another senior official in Kilindini needed to enter that in the system. It was now T minus 95 minutes.

T minus 80 minutes: Coming out of the elevator on the 2nd floor in Kilindini, I ran into a huge crowd. As I was pushing my way through it, my agent’s assistant asked a watchman for directions to his office.

- 4th door on the right, but you can’t go in. There are people in his office already, and all these people here are waiting to see him. I have instructions not to let anyone past..

- This is an emergency! A matter of life or death, I interrupted.

I could feel and hear the fuming rage of the crowd as I pushed my way through and towards the door. I took a deep breath as we crashed into the office, that was almost as crowded as the corridor outside.

With an effort to appear as calm and collected as humanly possible, given the circumstances, I put up a big smile, walked up to the guy behind the desk, and shook his hand as my two fellows, somewhat baffled by my shamelessness, slowly entered the open door behind me.

- Sir, it’s a pleasure to meet you, and I wish we could have been introduced under less hectic circumstances. The situation now is that we have an extreme emergency, that requires an entry from you in the system” I said, opening the file and handing him the letter signed by his ultra-senior colleague.

- Wow, right now, there’s just too many people in my office! I’ll sort put your emergency, just let me finish with these guys here.

The 6 or 7 people crowding the office, in addition to my 2 guys were still speechless as we retreated towards the door. 2 or 3 minutes later, they were all rushed out, with the officer right behind, closing his door as he was preparing to leave.

- I have a meeting that I cannot be late for. You’ll have to sort this out with my secretary. She’ll help you. I stood in front, blocking his way as I handed him the file.

- A copy of this file was sent to your office this morning, and this container must be in Kisumu tomorrow!

He hesitated, looked at it, then reopened the door to his office as he took the file and walked towards his desk. Some minutes later it was all done. I shook his hand again, thanked him, then took the file again and ran.

Step 16: Run, run, run!

Back to number 5 at the port again. On the road, we decided to split up, so our agent would finalize at the port, while I was going to make sure that the customs officials at the cfs didn’t leave before we got there. 2 of his colleagues met us at the port in a Toyota Vitz. As they were rather careful motorists, I took the driver’s seat. An emergency is an emergency, so danger lights on, and step on it!

The use of full lights during daytime, combined with semi-constant hooting apparently convinced even trucks, matatus and police on foot to back off! Less than 3 minutes later, I drove through the first gate ignoring the sound of a watchman insisting we park outside it. The second gate was physically closed so the watchman there had the upper hand. Instead of arguing, we parked outside and put up a sprint worthy of olympic athletes. It was T minus 25!

The local customs chief was preparing to call it a day a few minutes early. That plan was abruptly thwarted. It was now T minus 20.

Done at Number 5, my guys there were on the way to the CFS at a neckbreaking speed. I had told them not to waste time walking, but to run, and not to worry about any traffic rules.  3 minutes to 5, the people in the customs office were wondering whether my guys were gonna make it anytime soon, as I could suddenly say: “Look through the window” as my guys came running across from the gate. As they got in, I rushed over to the other side of the building to ensure the people in the office issuing gate passes wouldn’t leave. Fortunately, that office was open until 5:30pm, so we still had time.

There were 3 other guys waiting for their gate passes, and as customs documents were finalised at record speed, there was still a queue, and this time we actually joined it. Gettting the gate passes seemed to take a while too, and as it was getting close to 5:30, there was obviously a need for more pushing.

- Is it ready yet?

- Oh, that one? Wow, I hadn’t seen it..

Obviously, there was not even any point in asking if I could wait until tomorrow, so the guy started working at it right away.

- Where’s the receipt for customs?

- It’s zero rated! Look at the waiver letter!

The name and signature had obviously impressed the guy, yet one of the others started: “But is this a full waiver for..”

I stormed in behind the counter. “Solar cookers! 0 rated! All charges waived! CFS storage: Paid!” pointing at the corresponding documents, “What more do you need”. The guy went quiet and faced the computer again, with me standing straight behind his back.

- There’s a customs charge that hasn’t been paid..

- It’s 0 rated!! How many times do I have to repeat it?

- No, this one, 230 shillings.

He was pointing at the figure 230, somewhere at a form. I went numb. Was 230 shillings gonna stop this from happening?

Fortunately, our agent’s assistant was quick to dig out a receipt for that charge, and we could proceed again.

- There’s a charge for today, said a lady who so far had been quiet.

- It was waived by the chief accountant this morning! My reply was instant, as I pulled the receipts out from the file, and slammed them on the table.

- You’re absolutely right, she said after a quick look at the papers. After that, no more comments came until the gate pass was out of the printer.

Picture: Me with gate pass 168x300 The Kafka Container

At 17:45, we finally had the gate pass for the container!

After the lady had put her signature and stamp on the gate pass, it was finally ready, at 5:45 pm. The people behind the desk were happy to be able to go home, and I was ecstatic!

As a last hurdle, of course we had to pass by the security desk to have the gate pass registered, but that only took 5 minutes, and they were there 24/7 anyway, so once through with that, we could finally walk over to our container and load it.

It was an almost overwhelmingly emotional moment as I watched the container being lifted on to the truck. The Kafka container was finally out! Months of surreal bureaucratic meandering were over, and the effort had been crowned with success!

Picture: Container loading on truck 300x168 The Kafka Container

An emotional moment: The container gets on the truck

Exhausted after 2 days of pure insanity, I was in no mood to go straight to the airport when I didn’t even know if I would get a flight.  I wanted at least a taste of the beach, so I called my friend Janet, who owns the increasingly famous travel agency Exotic Expeditions. 5 minutes later, I was booked in to the Severin Sea Lodge at a giveaway price!

Step 17: Success, at last!

Of course the truck got somewhat delayed on the way, so we had to skip the partial offloading stopover in Nairobi, and send it straight to Kisumu. The Nairobi stopover could always be done on the way back.

Less than 2 hours before the expiry of the delivery deadline, the truck finally arrived in Kisumu! After a nerve-wrecking experience until the very last moment, the crazy effort was finally crowned with success!

This is a TRUE story about dealing with bureaucratic madness in the 21st century – in Kenya, a country with one of the BEST business climates in Africa!

The story contains no exaggeration in any way, rather on the contrary!

I am not complaining, though! We succeeded, and I regret nothing of what I did. The lessons learned were valuable, and thing I know for sure, is that future containers to be brought in will be less complicated, as I know how to deal with it now.

Solar energy is a realtively new, yet fast-growing sector in Kenya, and having pulled this off once, now gives us a a great advantage over any competitor! If you’re one of them, feel free to use this as a guidebook, and keep in mind that I’ve left out the juiciest parts of the story! Picture: icon wink The Kafka Container

Mombasa

Mombasa is one of Kenya’s most popular tourist destinations, for both foreigners and Kenyans. The long white beaches surrounding Mombasa are crowded with tourist hotels and all sorts of entertainment. In places like this, it’s easy to forget that you’re in a third world country.
GETTING THERE, AROUND AND AWAY
Mombasa has an international airport and is accessible directly from outside, without travelling through Nairobi. For a budget traveller, flying Thomson Airlines to Mombasa from Gatwick can save quite a lot money. I’ve had the experience of paying £205 for a return ticket!
For those arriving the traditional way – that is via Nairobi with BA, Brussels Airlines or Kenya Airways/KLM, there’s the choice between Kenya Airways and domestic airline called Fly540. The latter offers return tickets Nairobi-Mombasa from KSh 5400 (€54), which is less than half the price of Kenya Airways. Differences in quality are minimal.
For the real budget traveller, there are always plenty of matatus from Nairobi to Mombasa and back. Buses from Nairobi to Mombasa have the drawback of usually leaving from very bad parts of town late in the evening. Returning to Nairobi has the same challenges. The most comfortable bus alternatives are Msafiri and EasyCoach – at least they were a couple of years ago, when I last took one.
PLACES TO EAT, DRINK AND PARTY
When going to restaurants, first-time visitors should keep in mind that time awareness is not a predominant feature in the local culture. Terms like “soon”, right now”, and “quickly” should be interpreted in the geological sense, ie “your dinner will be served in a moment” / “the Himalaya formed as the result of a rapid continental collision.
Most upmarket places to eat in and nearby Mombasa are found at the tourist hotels. Most tourists who travel to North Coast are most likely to eat only at the hotels during their entire stay. Although they offer decent food, none are world class.
On the north side of Mombasa, there are two restaurants that are must-visits for anyone passing through the place. First and foremost, there is the ever unmissable Tamarind, present in bith Nairobi and Mombasa. Their Mombasa restaurant is far more spectacular than the Nairobi one, as the visitor gets a stunning view of the sea along with a 5-star dinner. The Mombasa Tamarind restaurant also has a dhow (traditional East African sailing boat) that offers dinner cruises each evening. booking in advance is recommended.
Nearby the town of Mtwapa, there’s a seaside restaurant called Aquamarin. this place also specialises in high quality seafood served at a toe-dipping distance from the water. About as unmissable as the Tamarind, but less expensive.
Mombasa itself being a predominantly Muslim city, most of the places to party are located along the North Coast, where most tourists go. One of the most popular night clubs is called Pirates. It offers a lot of hip hop and dance from dusk till dawn. During daytime and into the evening hours it’s also a restaurant, so if you intend to do an all-nighter in one place, you can do it here.
In the neighbourhood to Pirates, there’s Tembo – also an extremely popular night club in Mombasa. This place has a lot of space and a stunning music system. It’s open for as long as there are guests. Mamba is yet another popular spot, and for those who prefer a more calm and quiet atmosphere there’s Bora Bora.
For those who want to get away from the tourist crowd and experience something more truly Kenyan, Bob’s is a place worth visiting. This is the favorite place of Nairobians on holidays or weekend tripe .Bob’s offers more of the truly Kenyan atmosphere – and fewer women in the world’s oldest profession – than any of the above mentioned night clubs. The music at Bob’s is also mainly modern Kenyan, so any visitor wanting to experience more than partying with other tourists should jump into a taxi and tell the driver to go to Bob’s. Doesn’t matter which day – Kenyans are always in a party mood!
THINGS TO SEE
For centuries Mombasa has been a centre of power and a center of conflict in East Africa. Since Vasco da Gama’s days, the Portuguese almost made a tradition out of occupying the city only to get kicked out after a few years, then send reinforcements to reoccupy the city. Their lack of local popularity prompted them to build a supposedly impenetrable fortress – the Fort Jesus – which is one of the main landmarks and tourist attractions in Mombasa today.
Surrounding the Fort Jesus is the Old Town of Mombasa. Just like Zanzibar and Lamu, it’s a World Heritage Site. The Swahili style is almost equally unaltered here with the large carved wooden doors and the general mixture of Indian, Arabic and African architecture. Like other Swahili towns, the Mombasa Old Town does not have any straight streets.
If you follow the main avenue from Fort Jesus, you’ll end up at Government Square, once the centre of power of East Africa. The occasional visitor will probably have no idea where he is, as there is no indication whatsoever that this square once hosted all the major governing institutions of British East Africa. With some effort, you will also manage to find the way from there to the seaside of Mombasa, and the Old Port. Once an economic hub for the region, this place now lies hidden, almost forgotten and by no means easily accessible for the curious traveller.
Even without straight roads, you’ll somehow end up in the market streets when walking through Old Town. The spice market is far smaller than the one at Zanzibar, but nevertheless a a very characteristic part of Mombasa. Around the spice market are also hundreds of small shops where, with some luck, you can do all the shopping required for your holiday at bargain prices.
When venturing in the streets of Mombasa, make sure you get to see the Tusks – one of the very landmarks of Mombasa. These two pairs of giant tusks form the entrance portal to the city. They are a feature of the city and the country to the point that they are depicted on the KSh 50 notes.
At several places along the main streets you can buy fresh squeezed sugarcane juice – a sweet and refreshing experience which is worth a try.
The Bamburi Park north of Mombasa is a nice place to spend a few afternoon hours. Previously a stone quarry, this area has been turned into a pretty little park that samples some of the most characteristic parts of the Coast’s flora and fauna.
PLACES TO STAY
The North Coast probably has 50+ tourist hotels, mostly in the $100+ category. The most famous one is the Whitesands. This legendary place offers everything it takes to spend an entire holiday in one place, and unfortunately many tourists do when they stay here, believing that they’ve experienced Africa from the comfortable beach couches and pool bars. It’s also a very popular place among rich Kenyans – who are growing fast in number these days! Doubles rooms are usually somewhere around $200 but with the right connections you can get them half price! In my opinion, this place is totally worth it. Nice and extremely comfortable beach bars add on to the experience.
In the upmarket category, another place worth mentioning is the Severin. While the Whitesands is more of an international tourist hotel, this place has got a more distinct African style, still in the 5 star category. Food is nice here, and just like the Whitesands, it’s located straight at the beach.
For the budget traveller, there is the Baharini Chalets on the north end of the beach. To get there, tell the taxi driver to take off the main road at the same junction as for Severin, but to take left and to the end in the next juction. This beach hotel offers rooms with a kitchen and lots of space at about $15 per night. Expect only acceptably clean rooms with no excessive luxury, and fans instead of air conditioning. A cheap but acceptable alternative for the budget traveller.

“Mombasa raha” – Kenya’s city of joy!

Kenyans usually refer to Mombasa as “Mombasa raha” – Mombasa joy! An increasingly popular destination for the fast-growing Kenyan middle class, Mombasa is a vibrant place of sun, fun and partying!

The long white beaches surrounding Mombasa are crowded with classy tourist hotels and all sorts of fun.  Along the beaches in the north and south coast, it’s easy to forget that you’re in a third world country.

Getting there and around

Mombasa has an international airport and is accessible directly from outside, without travelling through Nairobi. For a budget traveller, flying Thomson Airlines to Mombasa from Gatwick can save quite a lot money. I’ve had the experience of paying £205 for a return ticket!

From Nairobi, it’s less than an hours flight, and the cost won’t be above €50 with a local airlines.

For the budget traveller, there’s the more authentic Kenyan experience of travelling by bus or matatu at about €3-€5. Except the fact that they usually leave from a rather bad part of Nairobi, there’s nothing to fear, beyond some seemingly reckless driving.

Eating, drinking and partying

First-time visitors going for dinner should keep in mind that time awareness is not a predominant feature in the local culture. Assurances like “your dinner will be served very soon” should be interpreted geologically, in the same sense that the Australian tectonic plate is moving rapidly towards Asia.

Many of the upmarket places to eat in and nearby Mombasa are found at the tourist hotels. Most tourists who travel to North Coast are most likely to eat only at the hotels during their entire stay. Although they offer decent food, none are world class.

On the north side of Mombasa, there are two restaurants that are must-visits. No trip to Mombasa is complete without a meal ever unmissable seafood restaurant Tamarind.  Their Mombasa restaurant is far more spectacular than the one in Nairobi, as the visitor gets a stunning view of the sea along with a world-class dinner. The Mombasa Tamarind restaurant also has a dhow (traditional East African sailing boat) that offers dinner cruises each evening. Booking well in advance is recommended.

Nearby the town of Mtwapa, there’s a seaside restaurant called Aquamarin. this place also specialises in high quality seafood served at a toe-dipping distance from the water. About as unmissable as the Tamarind, but less expensive.

Mombasa itself being a predominantly Muslim city, most of the places to party are located along the North Coast, where most tourists go. One of the most popular night clubs is called Pirates. It offers a lot of hip hop and dance from dusk till dawn. During daytime and into the evening hours it’s also a restaurant, so if you intend to do an all-nighter in one place, you can do it here.

In the neighbourhood to Pirates, there’s Tembo – also an extremely popular night club in Mombasa. This place is spacious and sharp-looking. It’s open for as long as there are guests. Mamba is yet another popular spot, and for those who prefer a more calm and quiet atmosphere there’s Bora Bora.

Those who want to get away from the tourists  and have cool Kenyan experience should go to Bob’s. This is the favorite place of middle-class Nairobians on holidays or weekend trips. Bob’s offers a more authentic local atmosphere (and has far fewer women in the world’s oldest profession than any of the above-mentioned places). The music at Bob’s is also mainly modern Kenyan, so the visitor wanting to experience more than just partying with other tourists should jump into a taxi and tell the driver to go to Bob’s. Doesn’t matter which day – Kenyans are always in a party mood!

Things to see

For centuries Mombasa has been a centre of power and of conflict in East Africa. Since Vasco da Gama’s days, the Portuguese almost made a tradition out of occupying the city only to get kicked out after a few years, then send reinforcements to reoccupy the city. Their lack of local support prompted them to build a supposedly impenetrable fortress – the Fort Jesus. Even that only held for a few year, but is nevertheless one of the main landmarks and tourist attractions in Mombasa today.

Surrounding the Fort Jesus is the Old Town of Mombasa. Just like Zanzibar and Lamu, it’s a World Heritage Site. The Swahili style is almost equally unaltered here with the large carved wooden doors and the general mixture of Indian, Arabic and African architecture. Like other Swahili towns, the Mombasa Old Town does not have any straight streets.

If you follow the main avenue from Fort Jesus, you’ll end up at Government Square, once the centre of power of East Africa. The occasional visitor will probably have no idea where he is, as there is no indication whatsoever that this square once hosted all the major governing institutions of British East Africa. With some effort, you will also manage to find the way from there to the seaside of Mombasa, and the Old Port. Once an economic hub for the region, this place now lies hidden, almost forgotten and by no means easily accessible for the curious traveller.

Even without straight roads, you’ll somehow end up in the market streets when walking through Old Town. The spice market is far smaller than the one at Zanzibar, but nevertheless a a very characteristic part of Mombasa. Around the spice market are also hundreds of small shops where, with some luck, you can do all the shopping required for your holiday at bargain prices.

When venturing in the streets of Mombasa, make sure you get to see the Tusks – one of the very landmarks of Mombasa. These two pairs of giant tusks form the entrance portal to the city. They are a feature of the city and the country to the point that they are depicted on the KSh 50 notes.

At several places along the main streets you can buy fresh pressed sugarcane juice – a sweet and refreshing local specialty not to be missed when in Mombasa.

The Bamburi Park north of Mombasa is a nice place to spend a few afternoon hours. Previously a stone quarry, this area has been turned into a really cute park that samples some of the most characteristic parts of the Coast’s flora and fauna.

Where to stay

The North Coast probably has 50+ tourist hotels, most at around €80-€100. The most famous one is the Whitesands. This legendary place offers everything it takes to spend an entire holiday in one place, and unfortunately many tourists do when they stay here, believing that they’ve experienced Africa from the comfortable beach couches and pool bars. It’s also a very popular place among rich Kenyans – who are growing fast in number these days! In my opinion, this place is totally worth it. Nice and extremely comfortable beach bars add on to the experience.

In the upmarket category, another place worth mentioning is the Severin. While the Whitesands is more of an international tourist hotel, this place has got a more distinct African style, still in the 5 star category. Food is nice here, and just like the Whitesands, it’s located straight at the beach.

For the budget traveller, there is the Baharini Chalets on the north end of the beach. To get there, tell the taxi driver to take off the main road at the same junction as for Severin, but to take left and to the end in the next juction. This beach hotel offers rooms with a kitchen and lots of space at about €10 per night. Expect only acceptably clean rooms with no excessive luxury, and fans instead of air conditioning.